He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
