Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
