i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
