So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize