dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
