He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
