New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
