Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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