Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
