just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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