the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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