So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Let's paint friendship bongs
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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