The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
