All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
