I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
