i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
