1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
