Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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