Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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