nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
