No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
MIDGETS
????
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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