I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize