I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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