we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
