Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize