two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
