Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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