So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
