At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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