College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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