Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize