Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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