Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
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