come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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