Where did you get a picture of my penis
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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