If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
