im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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