Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
