Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
