Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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