it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
