you're like a bully in the Christmas story
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
