Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
