I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
