Pants 0. Shit 1.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
