I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
