i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
