Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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