i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
