their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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