Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
