I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
