There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
