Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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