'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
