She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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